Saturday, December 10, 2011

Drive puts stiff face syndrome on the map


At the time of writing, this movie has SOLID scores on movie reviews that matter.
IMDB = 8.2 from 66K votes
RottenTomatoes = 93% on TomatoMeter and 79% audience liked it
What could possibly go wrong? Well, BOSS OF THE WEEK happened:

Stiff face 2.0
Ryan Gosling as drama star? Maybe..
Ryan Gosling as action star? Heck no!!
Simply put, he is the Kirsten Stewart of male action star!His face is soooo stiff and expressionless in THE ENTIRE FREAKIN MOVIE that he manages to motivate all people in the world that we could also be an action star like him
Maybe that's where the good rating comes in, people are encouraged to be the next Ryan Gosling = the Stiff Face movie star lol

His face is soo flat, that if he used a mask throughout the entire movie it wouldn't make a difference
Acting has never been easier
He drives, stiff face
He got punked, stiff face
He threatens and kicks people's asses, stiff face
He got stabbed and shot and almost bleed to death, stiff face
He kills people with hammer, with blood splattered all over his face... yea you guessed it, stiff face

Let me b*tchslap that stiff face out of you
This guy, where have I seen him before? Ah yes, Sons of Anarchy!!
Ron was awesome, he owns the scene everytime he shows up
There are funny moments, there are brutal moments, the bad guy we love to hate
Wished he got more screen time though, at least much better than the stiff face *sshole

Oh la la, then Christine Hendricks happened
Cleavage rating = none, why no boobs lah? This movie is for mature audience, think we can cope with some cleavages from Christine Hendricks. Would definitely make the whole movie MUCH BETTER
She was okay in the movie, not enough screen time and booby review tho

Carey, your son may have been contracted with a syndrome
Christine Hendricks is way much hotter than... this girl, Carey Mulligan
But I have to agree, Carey makes much better partner for Ryan in the movie, why? She has stiff face syndrome too lol
Carey in love, stiff face
Carey shocked, stiff face
Carey happy, stiff face
Carey Carey, a mask would also suit her just fine in the entire movie
Again, no cleavage rating (why director? WHY???)

Stiff face syndrome? I can cover that!
Lesson learned = if you are a stiff face actor, be sure to hire a SUPER COMPETENT DIRECTOR to cover you up.
That is what teams are for, to cover for each other. I can imagine how mindf*cked the director was when he realized that his two stars have stiff face syndrome.
For a movie titled drive, it has a driving scene of about 15 minutes out of 120 minutes!?@!#@!$!#@$#@
The action part you see from the trailer? Yeah, that was 50% of action for the whole movie already
Maybe that's where the director covered up Ryan's *ss?   "Ryan for action movie? OH HELL NO, let's just make a drama movie out of it and emphasizes the actionness in the trailer"
Make no mistake, even if the ratings are that high, this movie has serious potential to still make you doze off

Yeap, I don't drive that much

No comments:

Post a Comment